Palpatine’s Order 1 through 66

We all know Palpatine’s Order 66. So what were the other secret clone Orders 1 – 65? After a deep dive in Palp’s notebook, here is your exclusive look.

By David Skale – the Skywalking Inquisitor, and Richard Woloski

With Star Wars: The Clone Wars wrapping up, I still had one question that has yet to be answered about Order 66:  What were the other secret clone orders?

After a deep dive, I’ve found the answer! As it turns out, Palpatine had jotted them down on a cheat sheet so he wouldn’t forget.  So here is your EXCLUSIVE look at Palpatine’s Orders 1-67 (Yes, there were 67 Orders!)

  • Order 1:  We don’t talk about Order 1.
  • Order 2:  We never talk about Fight Club.
  • Order 3:  Never miss your targets.
  • Order 4:  Don’t bump your head.
  • Order 5:  Make sure these are the droids you are looking for.
  • Order 6:  Move along.
  • Order 7:  Wash Palpatine’s Ship.
  • Order 8:  When shooting your blaster, don’t yell, “Pew Pew”.
  • Order 9:  Keep an eye out for that Baby Yoda. In a few decades, he’s gonna be trouble.
  • Order 10:  Don’t piss off Anakin.
  • Order 11:  Make reservations for Palpatine for the “Rise of the Resistance” attraction at Disneyland.
  • Order 12:  Don’t question why you never see Darth Sidious and Palpatine in the same room.
  • Order 13:  Pull all investments from Alderaan-based businesses.
  • Order 14:  Remove all safety rails from catwalks and bridges.
  • Order 15:  Secure trademark for “501st”.
  • Order 16:  Make sure Han shoots first.
  • Order 17:  Make sure Greedo shoots first.
  • Order 18:  Make sure Han and Greedo shoot at the same time.
  • Order 19:  Why is everybody lip syncing to the same song on TiKTok. 
  • Order 20:  Cut Death Star budget by removing exhaust port cover.
  • Order 21:  Remove one “Roger” from battle droid programming.
  • Order 22:  Remove battle droids.
  • Order 23:  Sell vinyl capes to the Jawas.
  • Order 24:  Make sure Richard Woloski will never be the Rebel Spy.
  • Order 25:  Tell Richard Woloski Palpatine was the Rebel Spy for the 3rd time.
  • Order 26:  Find out Yoda’s species name (it had better not be “Baby Yoda”).
  • Order 27:  Find the opening crawl letters that are floating in space and sell them on Ebay.
  • Order 28:  Fix the air conditioner in Palpatine’s suite on Mustafar.
  • Order 29:  Chaperone Luke and Leia to avoid any awkward incidents.
  • Order 30:  Feed the Dianoga.
  • Order 31:  Send Starbucks gift card to Jar Jar Binks for helping to extend my position as chancellor.
  • Order 32:  Argue with fans on social media.
  • Order 33:  Kill half the Jedi.
  • Order 34:  Start planning for Death Star 3.
  • Order 35:  Keep those meddling kids away from Anakin.
  • Order 36:  Clean Palpatine’s office. Remove sliced appendages. 
  • Order 37:  Never make eye contact.
  • Order 38:  Never call Palpatine “Sheev”.
  • Order 39:  Find out who’s been spreading the rumor that Palpatine’s a clone.
  • Order 40:  Post openings for Sith cultists.
  • Order 41:  Mount Tantiss is not canon.
  • Order 42:  Figure out life, the universe, and everything.
  • Order 43:  Make sure Palpatine gets pilot position on Smuggler’s Run.
  • Order 44:  Stay away from Anakin on Mother’s Day.
  • Order 45:  Find out who offers the best bulk price on Death Stars – Costco or Sam’s Club.
  • Order 46:  Listen to Skywalking Through Neverland 
  • Order 47:  Never land on Alderaan.
  • Order 48:  For Match.com profile pic, which looks better, hood up or down?
  • Order 49:  If I’m interested, do I swipe left or right.
  • Order 50:  Give the Empire 5 Stars on Yelp.
  • Order 51:  Figure out Palpatine’s lost username and password for his MySpace account.
  • Order 52:  Make sure all calls from Mr. Mouse get through to Palpatine immediately.
  • Order 53:  Stop putting “LOL” in all of your texts.
  • Order 54:  Demand that grandchild keeps the name Palpatine.
  • Order 55:  For the cutest kitten, puppy, and porg videos subscribe to Palpatine’s YouTube channel.
  • Order 56:  Forward all robo-calls to Vader’s meditation chamber.
  • Order 57:  Don’t forget flash mob in Vader’s meditation chamber this Friday.
  • Order 58:  Ask Darth Vader what smells like leather wrapped in bacon.
  • Order 59:  Follow Palpatine’s Instagram story.
  • Order 60:  Stop telling Palpatine he looks like Ian McDiarmid and sounds like Ian Abercrombie.
  • Order 61:  Fast-track Sith Apprentice game show.
  • Order 62:  Post spoilers as soon as possible for maximum impact.
  • Order 63:  Help the Empire pass 5 trillion on Twitter.
  • Order 64:  Send pink slips to members of the senate.
  • Order 65:  Play gloomy choir muzak in new Death Star.
  • Order 66:  Kill all the Jedi.
  • Order 67:  REVISE ORDER 66 – I meant to say, “BILL” the Jedi for reimbursement of the clone army. Stupid auto-correct. Please disregard 66.

Do you think we’ll see the fallout from these other orders in a spin off show or film? Maybe the list goes on, is this only a part of a much larger list? Judging by this list, Palpatine is a complex man with complex thoughts. Maybe the list even goes to 68! 

Have an Opinion?

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